Made in heaven, tied by caste
Kiran Yadav
Posted online: May 16, 2010 at 2332 hrs
4 well edu boy Mumbai based 20.03.81/5'8" (Chandravanshi Kahar)
Bihari, US MBA wkng MNC seeks well edu girl….
An oxymoron, that's what most Indians who really believe in 'caste no
bar' would think on reading the classified above. Why must a
28-something young man, educated in a multicultural society (in the US
at that) still be caught up in the web of caste? There is no answer
really. The profiles in matrimonial classifieds are replete with caste
specifications… Rajput (gotra Vats), Gangwar (Kurmi), Basnaal (Bisht).
Incidentally, most of them stem from 'urban' India, a section of
society that loudly condemns the decrees of the khap panchayats and
rampant honour killings in rural India, but subliminally treads the
same line of discrimination! It is a paradox not easily resolved or
reconciled.
"When it comes to arranged marriages, the head rules over the heart,"
says Rohit Manghnani, business head, JeevanSathi.com, a marriage
portal. Behavioural mapping of over 40 lakh people by the portal
reveals that less than 1% of the people choose to not mention their
caste. "To claim to be 'modern urban Indians with no hang-ups about
caste' is the done thing, but as fact indicates, a very heavy bias for
same caste exists across India," adds Manghnani. He shares that 85.3%
of the Banias and 89.7% of the Nairs first prefer a match in their own
caste. Same-caste bias was found to be strongly correlated with mother
tongue. For instance, 90% of the Malayalees were found to prefer
Malayalees.
A strong indicator of caste bias is also evident from the fact that
Brahmins are the most preferred community outside ones own community.
"If a Kshatriya doesn't find a match in its own community, it looks
for a Brahmin option. Similarly, 25% of the Patels too prefer
Brahmins." The findings were the same for profiles posted by parents/
guardians and those posted by the girl or boy.
However, the rise in inter-caste marriages in metros cannot be ignored
either. "The number of inter-caste marriages involving Dalits
increased from 4,205 in 2007-08 to 4,750 in 2008-09. It is expected to
go up to around 6,000 marriages in 2010," says Vivek Pahwa, CEO,
secondshaadi.com. But he cautions against believing that the
perceptions have changed completely. So, are people as rigid about
caste even when it comes to marrying a second time? "Not really.
However, over 80% of the registered members on our portal mention
caste in their profiles and around 20-25% individuals are still
obstinate in choosing spouses of their same caste."
Shades of Shaadi, a partner preference survey conducted recently by
Shaadi.com, also found that 56.07% male respondents and 54.73% female
respondents said caste does not matter to them as much as the person.
"India is opening up to the idea of mixed marriages, as people realise
that compatibility does not come necessarily by virtue of being of the
same caste," says Gourav Rakshit, business head, Shaadi.com. In the
survey of 12,000 respondents, interestingly, Kerala, India's model
state for literacy, came across as the most conservative state when it
comes to caste, with over 57.29% respondents saying they'd prefer to
marry someone within their own caste. Rajasthan follows Kerala's lead
with a little over 50% respondents sticking to their belief of
intra-caste marriages.
"While I am not against any particular caste, I do feel that it
practically makes more sense for me to marry in my own caste. It will
help me integrate easily into the new family as culturally we'd be
alike," reasons Shreya Agarwal, who is "trying to settle down in
life". Point taken.
Despite the constitutional call for equality and urban India's
apparent support to merit, clearly the average urban Indian is not
still convinced that caste is an outdated concept. Ironically, birth
still continues to determine destinies in 21st century India.
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