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Single and ready to mingle at Swayamvarams
Bishwanath Ghosh, TNN 23 November 2009, 06:11am IST
CHENNAI: A good family' whatever you may interpret that as was in high
demand on Sunday in the auditorium of Mylapore's Sanksrit College,
where over
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250 Tamil Brahmin families had descended to find a Brahmin match for
their sons or daughters. The occasion was Naveena Swayamvaram, the
new-age version of the ancient Indian tradition when a princess chose
her suitor by dropping the garland around the neck of one of the many
kings or princes standing in a row.
No rows of suitors here though, only a cacophonic crowd; and no
garlands, but only horoscopes and bio-data. The parents walked up to
the stage one after the other, held the mike and rattled off the
qualifications of their sons or daughters and specified the kind of
alliance' they were looking for. Those who were incoherent or
inaudible were berated by G Swaminatha Sharma, the tireless but highly
vocal master of ceremony who would repeat the qualifications required
for the benefit of the attentive audience. The most common were good
family' and minimum graduate' (as in, the candidate should be at least
a graduate).
"Super idea, sir, super idea! Only Brahmins for Brahmins," gushed the
mother of N Durga Prasad, who is only 23 years old and is a first-year
student of masters in computer applications. "I already earn Rs 30,000
per month because Indian Oil Corporation hires my vehicles. I am also
a classical dancer. I am looking for a middle-class girl, 19 or 20,
who has a pleasing tendency," said Durga Prasad. Pleasing tendency?
"Someone who is nice to my mother," he clarified.
And why did he come to the swayamvaram instead of hunting for a bride
online or in the matrimonial pages of a newspaper? "Here we are seeing
the person, at least the family, directly. There is a direct
interaction,
As Durga Prasad specified to this reporter the kind of girl he was
looking for, a middle-aged woman went up to the stage to hand out her
daughter's bio-data. An impressive bio-data, "but she is based in
Mumbai and she can't get a transfer. So if there is someone working in
Mumbai or around..." Immediately a hand went up in the audience. It
was the hand of Thiripurasundari, the cousin sister' of T K Sriram,
32, who had come down all the way from Pune to attend the swayamvaram.
"Can you get a transfer to Mumbai?" asked Swaminatha Sharma, the
emcee. Sriram, a suave-looking young man, nodded vehemently. "So there
you are," Sharma told the mother of the Mumbai girl, "go and talk to
them." The audience clapped. The mother of the Mumbai girl and
Sriram's family met outside the auditorium. They enquired about each
other's demands' and exchanged phone numbers. "The thing is, her
daughter (the girl in Mumbai) earns Rs 60,000 whereas my cousin
brother earns only Rs 30,000. So the girl has to come down to the
level of Rs 30,000, or else the marriage will only end up in divorce.
Money is not the criteria for a happy marriage, am I right or not?"
asked Thiripurasundari, who is a lawyer by qualification.
The Mumbai girl's family was not the only one Sriram's family had got
in touch with since morning. "We met another family. They are a poor
family, but a good family. They didn't have any demands. Usually the
girl's side has so many demands," said Thiripurasundari. One could
tell that Thiripurasundari was more comfortable with the idea of her
cousin brother marrying a girl who was from a poor but good family'
rather than marry someone who earned twice his salary. Who Sriram
eventually marries, only time will tell, but the fact that he came all
the way from Pune to attend the swayamvaram speaks loads about how
modern day man still relies on ancient methods to find a suitor.
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