Published: January 26, 2011 14:35 IST | Updated: January 26, 2011
14:35 IST January 26, 2011
Let live, for love's sake
MARY SRUTHI VIJAYAKUMAR
The Hindu When in love: Honour is never an issue. Photo: K. Ananthan
After a hectic haul into my compartment, I sat on my precious seat,
which I'd thought would never have been possible after the sweaty,
crowded pavement of the Chennai Central. Packed with howling children
and crazy vendors or even worse porters, who try to grab my attention
the moment my eyes graze in their direction.
Two youngsters sat on the seat opposite me. They did not look more
than 25 or so it seemed; but they definitely looked uncertain about
whatever they were up to!
But isn't this how most of our Indian elders look upon young couples
these days? On Valentine's Day, we have the belligerent police force
arresting young lovers, while I still wonder why they almost did
nothing when there were crazy meaningless riots by college students
majoring in a fickle field in India: law!
Honour comes first
My thoughts then wandered to those victims of honour killings in my
own apparently free country. The thought that a mother can bring
herself to kill her own ' flesh and blood' for the sake of living an
honourable life is rather appalling.
When I searched my mind for a good reason on what exactly would drive
the most protective 'mother' race in the universe, regardless of what
species she belonged to, I came up with only one: 'survival of self'.
Drawing a parallel to the human mother, this phrase would convert
itself to the benefits of living a typified 'respectable' life in
society and to please her patriarchal counterpart, as she is dependent
on his already meagre or (in some cases) extensive resources or in
danger of her life itself. The more reasons I imagined, the more
inexcusable it got and I saw red!
As Henry David Thoreau would put it, "There is no value in life except
what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except
what you bring to it yourself."
I honestly can't figure out how anyone can kill just because someone
does not fit into their perspective of what is right. If mothers and
uncles can go about killing daughters and pretend they did something
to be proud of and if they can sleep peacefully or let's say, pretend
to close their eyes tight, pretending to shut away images of their
daughter's murder or hushed up cremation, then it's time for the world
to end.
Being a girl myself, it is alarming to know that there are girls out
there who are terrified to be in their own homes and that there are
girls who are thankful every single day to wake up alive in their own
premises, while I feel secure in my room, with parents to look up to.
Shame over blood
I earnestly hope parents, especially fathers, bear with the 'shame'
than opting to live with blood in their hands. You'd rather listen to
all that the already ridiculous community has to say than kill your
own apparently disobedient daughter and someone else's prodigal son.
And in the case of a few independent young women, do have the audacity
to let your only best friend and mother know that you've found your
special someone. In case your parents revolt and their reactions turn
out to be rather alarming then think no more, call a women's helpline
or the police. If you don't have the gumption to do so, tell your
neighbour or a friend.
Most honour killing cases are either never reported, listed missing
under the 'girl gone missing' cases with a million suspects fished out
by our brilliant panchayat or council to cover up what really
happened.
First, the world opted to extinguish baby girls, abuse them when they
struggle to grow up with all the tribulations in a male chauvinistic
society and now ' honour killing'. I wonder what else is yet to come
up down the road to a capricious and rather inexcusable future.
MARY SRUTHI VIJAYAKUMAR, III Year, B.A English, Women's Christian College
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