From: Shiva Shankar <sshankar@cmi.ac.in>
Date: Sat, Jun 19, 2010 at 10:03 AM
Subject: the remarkable Kaushal Panwar
To:
Dalit and Adivasi Students' Portal (www.scststudents.org)
"...Why did you choose Sanskrit as a subject?
This is because of a promise that I made to myself when I was a child.
After completing VIth Std, I opted for Sanskrit as one of my subjects.
But when I went for the first Sanskrit class the teacher refused to
teach me and told me to go pick garbage for a living instead of
learning Sanskrit. When I persisted, he slapped me and sent me to sit
in the last row. I cried and went back but somewhere I got the
determination that day that I would study Sanskrit and reach the top.
..."
----------------------
Born and brought up in one of the villages of Haryana, Dr Kaushal
Panwar teaches Sanskrit at Delhi University. Her life is one of the
most remarkable testimonies of human grit and determination towards
achieving one's goal despite insurmountable odds.
Kindly tell us about your family back ground.
I belong to Balmiki community in Rajour village from district Kaithal
(Haryana). My father who died in 2001 was a landless labourer. I have
two elder brothers. All my family members worked at jat landlord's
fields. I also used to work in the field along with my family and had
also worked as manual labourer in road constructions. My elder brother
could not clear class Xth and joined Punjab police as a sepoy but due
to some reasons he left the job. Today he is unemployed. I am the only
one from my district Kaithal, from Balmiki community, who has reached
to this level. Otherwise our community is still mostly engaged in
scavenging and manual labour.
What has been your educational background?
I studied in my village school and completed my 10+2 from there
itself. However for my graduation (B.A.), I had to take admission at
college that was 60 Km away from my home. I had to travel daily to be
able to attend the classes. Then I joined Kurukshetra University for
my Masters and later Rohtak University for M.Phil. However the turning
point came when I got an opportunity to join Sanskrit department at
Jawaharlal Nehru University (JNU), New Delhi for my PhD. In 2009, I
was awarded doctorate for my thesis on 'Shudras in Dharam Shashtras'.
Now I am an Assistant Professor and teach Sanskrit in of the colleges
at Delhi University.
Yours is truly a remarkable journey. What have been your motivations
that drove you to excel in studies?
I must say without any hesitation that my father was my biggest
motivator. Second most important was my family background. Poverty,
drinking habits of family's male members, helplessness on
caste-discrimination – these were things around which I grew up. I
always felt great discomfort and after a point I got fed up and tried
to focus solely on my education. I had seen my father being abused on
caste-lines and suffering and yet not able to counter that. In fact,
my father's helplessness motivated me to look critically at our lives
and not to accept that as our 'fate'. My father played a great role in
educating me. Here I would like to share an incident that happened
with my father. He had to go somewhere by bus. At bus stand, he was
unsure of the bus that was about to ply. He asked someone to confirm
if that was the right bus. The person replied very rudely, "Can't you
see what is written on the bus?" My father was an illiterate and felt
humiliated. He said very calmly to him, "Why would I have to ask you
if I was literate?" But then my father decided that he would educate
all his children at whatever cost so that they don't have to face any
such humiliations. My father never allowed me to do household work. My
mother was also very cooperative but remained worried about my fate
after my marriage (laughs). People would say so many things like why I
was not marrying etc. But I never bothered. I never looked back.
Whatever I could do I did for my education. All along my studies I had
to work to earn for my studies as well as for our family. You might
not believe that during my graduation days I used to work as one of
the labourers for constructing road that passed from the college where
I was a student (smiles). My father expired while I was doing my
Masters and he never allowed anyone to inform me about his sickness.
He was not even aware of what is PhD but always told me to achieve the
highest possible degree and made me to promise about not leaving
education under any circumstances. No one can ever fill the vacuum
that I felt after his death.
Why did you choose Sanskrit as a subject?
This is because of a promise that I made to myself when I was a child.
After completing VIth Std, I opted Sanskrit as one of my subject. But
when I went for the first Sanskrit class the teacher refused to teach
me and told me to go and pick garbage for a living instead of learning
Sanskrit. When I persisted, he slapped me and sent me to sit at the
last row. I cried and went back but somewhere I got the determination
that day that I would study Sanskrit and reach at the top. I sincerely
want to thank that teacher now as because his casteism and sexism
became my motivation. For most of the Dalit and Adivasi students
getting admission in premier educational institutions is a dream.
You did your PhD from JNU. How did you reach here?
After completing my Mphil from Rohtak University I wanted to do PhD
from there itself and decided to work on the topic 'Shudras in Vedas'.
However the faculties there forced me to change my topic and make it
'Shudras in Literature'. I agreed reluctantly but just on the last
date of registration, I was refused admission. Later I came to know
that my seat was given to a Brahmin woman who also taught in the same
department. I felt completely betrayed by my own teachers. I could not
do anything and came back home. In my university days I was very
active and used to participate in lots of meetings and seminars. In
one such meetings that was organised on 'the socio-economic condition
of Dalits' in Kaithal, I got the opportunity to meet two faculty
members from JNU namely Dr Malakar and Dr. Phool Badan who came as
speakers there. During the interaction I told them about how I was
denied PhD seat at Rohtak University. Both of them advised me to join
JNU for my PhD. But I was very unsure. I never thought that I could
ever get to JNU. However both of them motivated me and gave
confidence. Dr Phool Badan even helped me to fill the admission form.
Without them, I could not even have thought of JNU leave alone
applying. My example shows how important it is for our students to
have Dalit faculties in the campuses.
Now since you are settled how do you want to contribute more towards
the empowerment of our community?
I am not able to contribute as much as I should but still I am trying
my level best. Right now I am into writing and working on promoting
Dalit literature among people so that they get to read it and get
inspired to fight against caste exploitation. I am part of the group
that organises small meetings, street theatre, seminars and tries to
mobilise youth and students on the issue of caste in Haryana. Like on
12th April we celebrated Jotiba Phule's birthday by enacting a play on
Guru Ravidas where we clearly showed that he was not merely a
religious person but was a great revolutionary from our community. I
am also aware of my responsibility being a teacher and we run a
placement cell for our students.
What are your policy recommendations for higher authorities for the
welfare of Dalit and Adivasi students?
Some policies are already there. But the problem is their faulty
implementation. We can achieve so much if we are able to force the
authorities to implement these in spirit. So I feel our students
themselves have to reach to political arena where policies are framed
and are implemented. There is definitely need of many more policies to
promote Dalit and Adivasi girls' education. Their representation in
higher education is almost nil.
Many of our students who come from very humble background are
sometimes not able to cope up with the campus environment. One of the
major factors is the identity crisis. What you have to say on this?
I must say if there was any identity crisis with me I could never have
reached to this level. I never hide my identity and was confident
about it right from my school times. I did menial jobs at the homes of
many of my class mates like cleaning animal dung etc and then I used
to sit with them in the same class. They used to call me chuhri (slang
for scavengers) in the school. In fact it was my father who never let
me have any identity crisis. Since my childhood my father taught me
not to worry on such issues as no work is big or small. The same goes
with all our students. They should feel proud that they have come from
community of people who are the most hard working and their being in
higher education is a great achievement not only for them but for the
entire community.
What are your other suggestions for our Dalit and Adivasi students who
want to pursue higher education?
What else I can say other than to work doubly hard! As a Dalit and
Adivasi students we have to cross so many barriers - class, caste and
for women students - gender too. Most of the 'upper' caste students
have only to work hard for studies. But we have to work much harder to
be able to excel in studies and simultaneously fight against social
and economic handicaps due to our background. Other students don't
have to prove anything to anyone but we have lot to prove not only for
ourselves but also for the sake of our community. I teach Sanskrit and
being a Dalit woman I know that people are very judgemental and easily
point a finger if I don't teach properly. I have seen people
whispering against me and I always answer them through my work. In a
very short time my three books have been published and I am working on
the fourth one. We must always move ahead and not let others drag us
behind.
What are your suggestions for Dalit students groups like Insight?
I really thank Insight from my heart. This is really a very innovative
initiative which will go long way to benefit our students. I know this
group from my JNU days. My only suggestion for groups like Insight is
to always ensure equal representation in terms of its reach. Most of
our students are from very humble background and lack information.
They are also not much willing to come out. Insight has the
responsibility to reach to such students. Then only we can say that
Insight is a real role model for all of us.
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